Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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