I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
