I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
one might say we're banned from that church
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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