We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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