he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
