The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
