You're so nebulous sometimes
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
