Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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