I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I will die if light touches me.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Houston, we have a blender
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize