I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
