guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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