Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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