Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
