Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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