i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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