:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
