the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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