you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
