dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
