Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
