after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
