You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
