if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
you never un-have a 4some
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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