I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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