he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
