So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
