If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
