Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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