Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
