And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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