using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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