at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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