I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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