We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
