Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
