And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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