i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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