It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
