The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
