i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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