I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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