Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
