Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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