I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize