Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
