Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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