Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
