i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
