White coat. Heels.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
