no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
