hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She bit a glass in half.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
