oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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