I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
