maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
