Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
