I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
