Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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