I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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