i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
