apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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