Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize