we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
