3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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