he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
