im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
