haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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