Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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