Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
