Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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