and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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