Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
