Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
my shit smells like andre
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
